Funny Bella
by T.Cullen1
Summary: Edward leaves Bella alone with Emmett and Jasper. What will happen? Complete!
1. Chapter 1 Soldiers can't yell

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

What would happen if Emmett and Jasper were watching Bella?

Chapter 1

Bella

"Okay, Emmett you may watch Bella. But if you harm Bella in anyway make her sad, cry, or she injures herself. I will rip you into five thousand pieces, hide them, and make you put yourself back together." Edward said.

"Yes Soldier Masen." Emmett replied using a military voice.

"Do not call me Soldier Masen when I am General Masen. "Jasper will stay behind with you."

"Soldier McCarty and Soldier Whitlock will report to duty." Emmett yelled.

"That's Major Whitlock to you." Jasper yelled from the other room.

"And this is President Cullen stop yelling." Carlisle yelled.

"Sir yes sir!" Edward, Emmett, and Jasper yelled.

"Hey, I have a question." I said.

"Yes, love?" Edward said.

"Who am I?"

They thought about it. "The General's wife Isabella Masen."

"Does that mean I'm more powerful then Emmett and Jasper?"

"No, you're a women." Emmett said.

"That is not fair!" I said as Alice and Rosalie walked in the room.

"Did you just say she wasn't as powerful as you because she is a women?" Alice and Rosalie said together.

"I meant to say she wasn't as powerful because she wasn't a soldier." Emmett said looking scared.

I went over to Edward and gave him a hug. "Edward can I be a general?"

"Of course. You will be my queen."

"That isn't a military rank." Jasper said.

Esme walked in. "Hello, Carlisle is the president of this country so that makes me the first lady. Edward since you're king of a different country I over power you when you're in my country. One of the laws here is no yelling."

"Sorry." We said.

"Well who is General now?" I said.

"Me." Alice said.

"Does that also make me a general?" Jasper said.

"No, you are just a man."

"Rosalie can be a soldier like me." Emmett said.

"I have another question. How did we get from and argument from Emmett watching me to us arguing about what position we are?"

We all laughed.

Later that night Edward took me to his room to sleep. He had to leave to hunt now. He wouldn't be back until tomorrow evening. We said are good byes and he left.


	2. Chapter 2 Sleep talk

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

Chapter 2

Jasper

"Jasper, let's go up to Edward's room and watch Bella sleep." Emmett whispered.

"Why?"

"There has to be some reason Edward watches her sleep. Come on!"

"Okay, but if Edward finds out I'll tell him you made me. Then he can kill you."

"Oh, he will?"

We went up Edward's room. Bella was asleep on the bed. We sat on the floor beside the bed.

"Edward!" She mumbled.

"No! Please? No, you can't."

Emmett and I laughed.

"She sleep talks." I said laughing.

Then Bella began screaming.

"She is having a nightmare." Emmett said.

I sent waves of calm through her but it didn't seem to help.

"Bella, wake up!" I said.

"Don't wake her up. This is good entertainment. We probably never get to see this again."

Bella woke up with tears pouring down her face. I calmed her.

"Why are you guys in here?" Bella said.

"We heard you screaming so we came to see if you were alright." Emmett said trying to sound sincere.

"Emmett, you're a terrible liar. Why are you in here?"

"Emmett made me come with him to watch you sleep talk." I said trying to get her to blame me as least as possible.

She whacked both of our heads.

"Sorry." We said acting ashamed.

"Just leave." She yelled annoyed at us.

I sent more calmness through her. She glared at me.

"Sorry."

Emmett snickered and I pushed him causing some of Edward's CDs to fall and break.

"Edward's going to kill you." Emmett said laughing.

"I'll make sure he kills both of you." Bella muttered.

"Hey, we heard that!" Emmett said.

"You were meant too. Now leave before I give him another reason to kill you."

We went downstairs.

"Jasper?"

"No!"

"You didn't even know what I was going to say!"

"I don't care!"


	3. Chapter 3 Cereal Wars

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

Chapter 3

Bella

I woke up. There were loud noises downstairs. I decided to ignore it. I grabbed my bag and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. When I was finished I went to the kitchen. About every type cereal was on the counter. Then I was hit by a handful of cheerios. Emmett and Jasper were having a cereal war I grabbed two boxes of cereal and threw them at them.

"Hey!" They shouted.

"What are you doing? This is a mess. Why did you buy every type of cereal? One of you hit me with cheerios so I got you back."

"Oh I'm sorry would you rather us throw froot loops at you?" Emmett said.

"We didn't know what type of cereal you liked." Jasper said.

I laughed. "You are making a mess."

That was a mistake because soon after that I was covered in cereal. I wanted to defend myself but I didn't want to make a mess so I used cereal boxes as shield and also threw them at them. I barely hit them unless they were distracted. When we were done there was only one surviving cereal, Honey Combs. I ate some and then helped clean a little. Emmett and Jasper were fast so they cleaned most of it.

"What are we doing today?" I asked.

"First we have to buy Edward new CDs." Jasper said.

"Bella, can you go get the CDs we broke? Careful don't cut yourself. I'll just get them. We don't want him being to mad."

This was going to be a long day.


	4. Chapter 4 Keychains and an idea

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

Chapter 4

We had just left the CD store. We were in Emmett's jeep when I noticed something. A keychain with a heart was hanging on the mirror. It said R + E but the R was crossed out.

"Emmett, why is the R crossed out on the keychain?"

"Rose was mad."

"Why was she mad?"

He didn't answer.

"If you tell me I'll tell you how to prank Edward."

He thought about it for a while. "Alright. Everyone was in the car except Rose. I was driving us to school. Rose was coming to get in the car and I was going to pretend to leave her. But when I did mud flew and hit her. Her hair and clothes were covered in mud. I decided to have fun. I got out and ran. I grabbed her and made her go to school. But as soon as we got there, she took the car and left. I gave her a keychain to make it up but she crossed out the R and threw it at me. We didn't make up for weeks. Now how can I prank Edward?"

I laughed at his story for a few minutes then spoke. "Tell him you broke the CDs on purpose and tell him you were attempting to cut me to see if you could hold yourself back from the blood. Then say you hoped he would forgive you for being honest. Take a picture of the look on his face after you say that. Print the picture a million times so he can't destroy all of them and then if it was a really funny picture you could use it against him."

"That is genus little sis!" Emmett said.

"I have a prank. Take a picture of Bella and edit it were her eyes are red and make it look like she is a vampire. Then text it to him." Jasper said.

"Let's do that too!" Emmett said.

We were all laughing and thinking of more pranks.


	5. Chapter 5 Picture Prank

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

Chapter 5

Bella

Jasper and Emmett were editing a picture of me.

"That actually looks like a vampire." I said impressed.

"Did you underestimate our awesome skills, little sis?" Emmett said.

"Shut up. Let's text it to him."

Jasper got the phone and sent him the picture.

Carlisle

Edward's phone was ringing. I wouldn't look at it normally but it was a text from Emmett's phone I had to. It was a picture of Bella with red eyes. I laughed. Emmett loves to prank. When Jasper is with Emmett he also loves pranks. I think it's just because he can feel Emmett's excitement and that makes him excited. Together they prank way too much.

"Edward!" I called.

He was there in a flash.

"Yes, Carlisle."

"You have a text from Emmett. Sorry I had to look it was from Emmett."

Edward took the phone and looked at the picture. "Idiots." He muttered.

"I'm glad we are only leaving them for a day. Bella would be dead if she was alone with them any longer."

"Actually, son we are staying a few more days. But if you like you can go home to Bella."

Jasper

A few minutes later Edward was calling. He wasn't mad about the picture. He knew it was fake. But he was going to hunt longer. Bella and him were on the phone talking for what seemed like forever until Emmett took the phone and spoke.

"Bye Eddie. I love you." And closed it.

"Hey!" Bella yelled.

"You took too long. Just say bye and hang up." Emmett said.

"What are we doing now?" Bella asked me ignoring Emmett.

"Hey it's snowing!" Emmett yelled acting like a child screaming.

"Eww." Bella said.

Emmett disappeared and came back with Alice's, Rosalie's, and Esme's snow clothes.

"Oh no." Bella said.


	6. Chapter 6 Eddie the Snowman

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

Chapter 6

Bella

I was outside with about thirty jackets on. I hated the snow. I looked like a penguin the way I was walking. And then I was hit by a snowball. I turned around to find the yard empty.

"Hey, Jasper do you want to be on a team?" I yelled.

Jasper appeared in front of me. "Sure."

"Hey that isn't fair." Emmett yelled from somewhere in the woods.

"To bad." Jasper and I yelled.

Jasper made a little fort for me to hide behind. He didn't need one because he was fast. When Emmett through snowballs he dodged them or caught them and threw them back. I threw a few snowballs but it was pointless with vampires. Eventually Emmett gave up.

"Let's build a snowman!" Emmett said disappearing to get supplies.

Jasper and I started to build the snowman. Jasper made the bottom and middle. When Emmett came back I gave up and just threw the head at him. He didn't suspect it so he dropped all the stuff he had. Jasper and I laughed. Emmett glared at us. Emmett made a new head. Jasper made the arms and I put the scarf on. Emmett made the face and buttons. I put the hat on.

"All done." Jasper said.

"Wait it needs one more thing." I said getting up. I found two red colored rocks and triangle rocks.

I took the eyes out and put the red rocks in their place. Then I put the triangle rocks on its mouth for fangs.

"Now it's done!" I said laughing.

"What should we name it?" Jasper asked.

"Eddie. A. Masen Cullen." Emmett said.

"Good night Eddie." I said walking inside.

When we went inside Emmett pulled something out of the cabinet.

"Merry Christmas Bella!" Emmett said handing me a candy cane.

"Thanks but you know it's not Christmas."

Then Jasper came in giving me hot chocolate.

"Thanks."

I sat there a few minutes stirring the candy cane in the hot chocolate making sure it was cool.

"What are you guys up to?"

They just laughed and walked into the other room.


	7. Chapter 7 Kidnaped

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

Thank you if you reviewed or read this story.

Chapter 7

Bella

When I finished the hot chocolate and candy cane I went to find Emmett and Jasper. They were sitting on the couch.

"What is going on?" I asked.

"We were being nice to you to see if you would come shopping with us." Emmett said.

"Emmett you are a terrible liar."

"It does actually involve shopping kind of." Jasper said.

"Well I was on the internet and I found a few list of things to do at walmart." Emmett said.

"No, absolutely not."

Then Emmett picked me up and I was in his jeep. He buckled me up.

"Emmett, let me go." I yelled because I couldn't figure out all the buckles.

He laughed and got in the driver's seat.

"Jasper, help I'm being kidnapped!"

Jasper was in the passenger seat the next second.

"Emmett is this really necessary?" Jasper asked.

"Yes." Emmett said and drove off.

But Jasper wasn't expecting that and hadn't closed the door. He fell out. I couldn't help laughing no matter how mad I was. Emmett stopped the car about a few yards from the garage. Jasper was angry. Jasper chased Emmett all around. But they hit the car and it started to roll. I screamed. I couldn't get out.

"Help!"

Da da daaa.

What will happen next?

I must really obssesed with Twilight. While I was writing this my dog came up to me and I called him Jasper.


	8. Chapter 8 Edward and more pranks

Funny Bella

I don't own anything.

Hello guys, how are ya? I bet you really want to know what is going to happen. But guess what? I'm not going to tell you. Just kidding! Now on with the show!

Chapter 8

Bella

I was screaming. I covered my eyes. Then the car suddenly came to a stop.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe I got that videotaped!" Emmett yelled excited.

I was mad, at both of them but mostly Emmett.

"You just wait until I'm a vampire." I muttered but I'm sure they heard it.

Jasper helped me out. He tried to apologize but I ignored him. I went to Emmett and made him play the video.

He had been holding the video camera ever since I asked him what was going on but somehow I didn't notice it. It was funny but I didn't laugh. It ended right after Emmett yelled oh my gosh, I can't believe I got that videotaped. I went inside and went to Edward's room. They came up a few minutes later. I decided to play a prank. I pushed my face into a pillow.

"Bella, we're sorry." Jasper said.

"We just meant to play a little prank." Emmett said.

I pretended to cry. "I just wanted to have fun with my two brothers but you ruined it!"

"We are sorry, Bella." Emmett said.

"We didn't mean to it was just a prank. We're sorry." Jasper said.

"Just go away."

"Just kidding!" I said laughing.

We went downstairs. Suddenly the door burst open. Edward ran in backing Emmett and Jasper to the wall.

"What did you do?" He yelled at them.

"Wait, first can you tell us what you're mad about?" Emmett asked.

"Alice had a vision of you and Jasper in my room apologizing to a crying Bella."

I picked up the camera Emmett had and went over there. "Emmett tell him about the CDs!" I yelled.

"What?" Edward asked looking at me and Emmett.

"Well Edward I broke a few of your CDs trying to cut Bella. Let me finish. I wanted to see if I could hold myself back from the blood. Let me finish. I hoped you wouldn't be mad since I was honest." I snapped a picture that second.

Jasper and I laughed at the picture while Edward chased Emmett.

"Edward it was just a prank!" I yelled.

Edward came back downstairs and hugged me.

"What?"

"Emmett and Jasper pranked me so I pretended to cry to prank them. Then Emmett made up the CD thing for a prank and I took a picture of you. I'm sorry for the pranks and making you come home early."

"Bella, I love you. I would have probably come home anyway. I love you."

"I love you too. Would you like to meet Eddie?"

"Eddie? Okay, um sure."

I pulled him outside and showed him our snowman.

"Edward meet Eddie A. Masen Cullen. Eddie meet Edward."

Edward looked at me. "Emmett named him not me. I added the fangs and eyes."

Edward laughed. "Who changed him?"

Now instead of Frosty the Snowman we sing Eddie the Snowman. We have a picture of Eddie, the Cullens, and me. We have a picture of Edward and a video of me going crazy from Emmett and Jasper's prank. We will have entertainment for years.


End file.
